Friday, January 30, 2009

Just FYI

Inspectah Deck, he's like...he's like that dude that'll sit back and watch you play yourself and all that right? And see you sit there and know you lyin, and he'll take you to court after that, cuz he the Inspectah, and also he the Rebel INS.

Makin babies

An arrest warrant was issued by an Atlanta judge for ex-NBA player Jason Caffey for failing to pay over $200,000 in child support and legal fees to Lorunda Brown, mother of Caffey's 6-year-old son. Caffey played nine years in the NBA for the Chicago Bulls, Golden State Warriors, and Milwaukee Bucks. Jason Caffey's off-court activities seem to be just as productive as his on court ones, having produced 10 children by eight different women. Caffey filed for bankruptcy in October, but his case was rejected, therefore clearing the way for him to be sued for child support.

-10 kids with 8 women, vs. Travis Henry's seemingly unassailable record of 9 kids with 9 women. I gotta give this one to Henry based on his stellar track record of extracurriculars.

Caffey, by the way, made $30 MIL in the NBA. But is "bankrupt".

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sun Tzu and The Art of Quarterbacking

I have this book. Haven't looked at it in damn near 20 years, and I can only imagine that's a huge mistake on my part. Odds are it'd be a hell of a lot more amusing now than it was when I was 10 (obligatory flip-through and immediately put away).

Guess it's kinda hard to get. No, you can't have mine.

Friday, January 23, 2009

By popular demand, Slutshole Lane

Giggling like a titmouse.

Room to stretch your legs pt II

Prime Time Neon Deion's worthy companion to Shaq and MJs humble abodes. A small summer cottage, if you will. Be sure to zoom out for full effect.

Must be the money.

His style is impetuous

After you see Red Apples Falling, a new Tyson documentary.

Room to stretch your legs

Check out Michael Jordan's house, possibly rivaled only by Shaq's crib.

Perhaps they'd be interested in hosting our long-discussed indoor stickball facility?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Portrait of the Schtee As A Young Dogg

"Hash anyone peeped the Youcantfademeagle? I've been sippin on this yac but I hear he rolls with a grip of drambuie..."


Man Always Attempts To Intercept Tossed Things
January 22, 2009 | Issue 45•04

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—According to sources at McNamara Advertising Inc., junior account executive Matthew Burns, 28, will attempt to catch or deflect any airborne item that enters his general vicinity and has an intended destination or recipient other than himself. "It doesn't matter what it is. I even saw him grab a used tissue out of the air before he realized what he had done," said office manager Karen Dunham, referring to Burns' habit of either batting away, snatching, or "alley-oop" slam-dunking pieces of garbage that have been tossed toward trash receptacles. "And he yells 'my house!' really loudly every time he does it. It's kind of getting out of hand." Burns was not available for comment, as he is recovering from an injury sustained after attempting to intercept an in-flight dart at a local bar.

That Jerome James Money

Man looks good in a suit.

UPDATE: Knicks C Jerome James is scheduled to have surgery to repair a ruptured right Achilles’ tendon Thursday. The injury occurred during practice Sunday.

Perhaps the Jerome James bailout started this whole financial mess.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Yeah you fat... in the stomach

For our NYU Broome Street friends, hot on the heels of Frownie's request for the freestyle sessions, an interview with Saafir about the backstory and the battle.

First time hearing this led to me finding Casual's album Fear Itself for 99 cents in Discorama (the late, lamented troo one by the West 4th St courts, not the one by Cornelia St) just moments before an anguished Aram. Score.

PS Souls of Mischief's 93 Til Infinity obtained recently near U of Maryland for a hot dollar. FYI.

Behind the scenes at the Review

Heads nationally inquire, "How did he find that?" Well, here is Exhibit A: a simple perusal of Bigg Snoop Dogg's IMDB page (various reasons) led to the discovery of a man I can only imagine is the French Mos Def.

Unless it's a chick. Who's not French.

This name is minutes on end of amusement.

It's no Urban Menace

A poor man's Choices? A homeless man's Baller Blockin? Jim Jones' Byrd Gang movie Red Apples Falling looks more like a dead man's Boss'n Up. Trailer below.

New balls please

In lieu of the golden bat- still held hostage in Astoria, mind you- I will take this as my championship prize.

Keeps the balls at optimum temperature. Sweet.

Where I can be found

Well, at least half of that is true at the moment.

It's about where ya at

Some interesting tidbits for Astoria croo AKA almost everyone.

Not mentioned in the piece: the aggravating walk from the Steinway R station to everywhere else. What's that, you say? The Q1-oh-something bus down Broadway? HA! Good luck with that, pal.

By the way, Forgotten NY is an excellent site, highly recommended.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Damn that Skat Kat.

He's all over my girl.

Alternatives to the Mets new sleeve patch

What does Bill Walton think of the patch?

Terrrrible! Just terrrrible!

An amusing take here.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Stop butchering the classics!

To: Bullet For My Valentine
Re: No Easy Way Out
Subject: Shut up, jerks.

How dare they.

The name deserves better.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wisdom from the RZA

"Sound travels at 1180 feet per second. I've mastered sound. That's why my beats are so phat."- RZA, 1993

It's Stopped Raining

Fine work, sir.

What a cast!

Yes, I believe I will.

Swindle Tips

The Angry Whopper

Not literally... but sort of literally.

When you eat it, do you have to sit in the Angry Chair?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Who's Hungry?

Watch CBS Videos Online

What Stank So Good?

Have it your way indeed.


Call of the Ball Hawk

From JoeSportsFan:

Ed Reed a lot skinnier, darker than uncle Andy Reid
With much thanks to "THE BALL HAWK" Ed Reed, the Ravens forced five Miami turnovers, just eight less than the team had committed in 16 regular season games!!! Chad Pennington threw four picks (he had seven all season), one of which Reed returned for a touchdown. Reed has 11 touchdowns in his regular season career, which is equal to the number offensive touchdowns the Ravens scored during the Brian Billick era.The postseason version of Ed Reed, Asante Samuel, set an NFL record with his fourth postseason interception return for a touchdown, moving past Oakland's Willie Brown for first on the unwritten list. Unfortunately for Asante, he doesn't hawk balls like Ed Reed. Then again, who does? Ed Reed will hawk your balls.

The Jets DO need a QB next year...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Sad But True

Ditch the zero

Feel free to skip directly to the last stunning entry on this list:

Mssr. Wham Bam Van Damme

From wikipedia- JCVD is "known throughout the French-speaking world" for his "picturesque aphorisms" including:

You don't need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.••

If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.••

If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up.••

My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.••

Obviously I've taken drugs.••

When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!••

I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.••

Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.