Friday, May 29, 2009

Jose Canseco Goes Midget Bowling

No, but just thinking what it might take to surprise you nowadays as far as the more entertaining Bash Brother is concerned.

Last year he was knocked out by Vai Sikahema in a celebrity boxing match in Atlantic City. More recently:

Spotted on Vacay

Just another day at the ballpark.

No chitchat, no food (appears to be well-fed as it is), just intently watching the game and, apparently, waiting for solicitations.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


It's exactly what I do on my way home from work, no big deal, what's all the fuss.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Scrooge McDuck Update

It would appear I was taking money, taking money money money, while Uncle McDuck was straight makin money, makin money money money. Hard at work studying, the MZA put his biznass school knowledge to work as follows:

ravi: i think your calculations are wrong
by my estimates the scrooge vault is about 120 feet by 80 feet by 100 feet
for a volume of 960,000 cubic feet
10:56 PM just trying to figure out how many gold coins could fit in one cufoot
then multiply by volume
to get troy volume weight of gold
thn reduce to about 80 % capacity
and multiply that number by weight of gold to get net worth of just his gold
remember he had gems also
10:57 PM me: 80? I'd say no more than 50%
he had to dive in, after all
ravi: yeah
80% would mean that there was about 80 feet of gold (the vault is 10 stories high
assuming 10 feet per story
50% full would be a 50 fot dive
and cartoon duck or not he's dead doing that
10:58 PM this guy made a scale model of the money bin
money bin is actually 12 stories tall
but i'm taking away the offices and other infrastructure
so assuming that 960K is the right number for voluyme
10:59 PM how do we calc th amount of coins in it
or would take to fill it
11:00 PM let's also assume that all coins are 1/10 oz sizes
which is about a dime (since he did spit them)
(dont think he could spit a full oz coin which is the size of a half dollaar)
me: so 1 coin is worth about $100
11:01 PM ravi: ok
so a dime is .70 inches in diameter and approximately .053 thick
11:02 PM that would mean in a 1 inch height
you could get about 18 dimes
so 214 dimes stack up to a foot
sorry 225
11:03 PM so cubing it
11:04 PM wait so 225 dimes is one foot tall and .705 inches wide
11:05 PM which means you could fit 17 stacks in one row
and about 17 columns as well
so 17*17*225=total dimes in 1 cubic foot
65025 dimes in 1 cu foot
11:06 PM multiplied by the value of 65025 oz of gold which at today's rate is
me: i'm just using $1000 on the high end
11:09 PM ravi: ok so it's $65 025 000 per cubit foot
multiplied by 960000
11:10 PM and taking 80% gives $4.99392 × 10^13 rate
which is pretty obscene
11:11 PM or $4,993,920,000,000
but then again now we have to calculate it against what he paid for it
which given his ruthlessness is probably minimal
me: ha, he may have "discovered" a lot of it
11:12 PM ravi: but assuming it cost him 40%
it's a residual value of 2,996,352,000,000
and his tax rate is proably ridiculous
11:13 PM assume the govt takes 50%
he has a net worth of 1 498 176 000 000
11:14 PM in gold alone
11:17 PM me: that is nene
11:18 PM ravi: of HIGHLY liquid assets
i'll take my postulation/calculation of the year prize now kthx
11:23 PM i demand a correction on the review
me: i'll post it
11:25 PM well done
11:26 PM ravi: MBA money well spent
11:31 PM ravi: oh
it's actually one MORE zero
so gold of 14 trillion dollars
11:32 PM which is almost 3.8X the amount of gold EVER mined

Touche, Mr. Mackey, touche.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tony LaRussa Said Something Clever Once

From Ron Darling's new book, after talking with his Oakland manager Tony LaRussa about problems at home:

Finally Tony said, "Listen to me. As a human being, I care. But as your manager, you've got to start winning some fucking games. This is ridiculous."

In the words of the Ladies Man:

Yes, that IS disgustin.

How can ANYONE like this
? Seems unfathomable.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Duckburg Is No Joke

I think Scrooge McDuck's vault is incredibly overvalued. Even estimating an ounce of gold at $1000 an ounce, he'd have to have at least 20 tons before we're talking real money. which, of course, is not to be confused with That Jerome James Money. Click below to see how real things could be.

Friday, May 15, 2009

X Gon Give It To Ya

X is out. Everybody wins.

I Can Barely Make A Layup

Want to do. But do not have patience to try. Click below.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I can't argue with this. I simply cannot.